


Old Toys, Old Memories

by Scriberat



Series: Month of Mei 2020 [21]
Category: Magi: The Labyrinth of Magic
Genre: ADHD exploration: RSD, Fluff, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-22
Updated: 2020-05-22
Packaged: 2021-03-03 02:46:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 537
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24317530
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Scriberat/pseuds/Scriberat
Summary: Spring cleaning! It's time for Koumei to go through his room, and boy does he have a lot to sort through. When he digs up an old treasure, it brings forth a memory that really should have tipped someone off about him being ND
Relationships: Ren Kouen & Ren Koumei
Series: Month of Mei 2020 [21]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1727365
Comments: 4
Kudos: 8





	Old Toys, Old Memories

**Author's Note:**

> this turned into an explorative piece on rejection sensitivity dysphoria by accident. i figure, if i can describe it here, i can probably describe it to a therapist

It was spring, and that meant spring cleaning. Koumei sorted out his shelves, his desk, his old papers to find out what was and wasn't scanned yet. He got things in their proper place and discarded what he no longer needed or wanted.

Now for the closet. This was where the Unsortables went. Unsortables were objects with no apparent home, or that had been tossed on the floor in a fit of who knew what at this poi— oh, no, wait, that barrette pack was actually for Kouha's birthday this summer, kept secret here. Well, that just got sorted.

Koumei pulled everything out and laid it on the floor in neat rows, rearranging on the way to maintain order in similar groups. That nice poster went into one spot. Those stones he had been collecting all year were destined for his stone jar. This massive jar was the new jar for the stone jar. He put the stones in it to remind himself later. A few stuffies, once kept for nostalgia, now kept for his siblings to give to their kids. 6 had already left the nest. 

There were boxes of old games he wanted to move to the game room that he remembered bringing up here to sort through, and so he did, one at a time, on the spot. Some of his old toys were here, too. He decided to just donate them until he came across one in particular.

A wooden butterfly on a stick. The paint was faded, but he remembered when he got it clear as day.

He held his father's hand, barely 4 years old. Kouen was on the other side. Whenever they stopped for a moment, Koumei was looking around his father's legs to see his older brother. He remembered the pretty blue of his brother's special outfit for the midsummer festival and the soft look in those sharp eyes whenever they caught him.

"Koumei, why do you keep staring at me?" Kouen asked. Koumei didn't know. Kouen didn't like it. He wouldn't like  _ him _ , but if Kouen didn't like Koumei then Koumei wasn't worth life.

Koumei burst into tears.

"Koumei?" 

"Koumei! Are you alright?"

He wanted to say it was because Kouen was mad at him, but if he said that, it would cause more problems, so he just shook his head.

Hakuren looked like he was close to crying, too. "What's the matter, Mei?"

Kouen was right there. He shook his head again and tried to stop crying. Hakuren thought for a moment, then begged his dad for a little money before going off. 

Koumei got himself to stop crying so everyone would stop worrying and they could enjoy the festival. Hakuren came back with a little butterfly on a stick.

"Oh, you stopped crying. Here," he said, handing it over. Koumei twirled it and giggled. Koutoku snatched his free hand up and they kept walking.

Twirling it in his hand now, he could remember asking Kouen later if he hated him. Kouen said he didn't.  _ Didn't _ turned into  _ wouldn't _ , and now, decades later, it was his greatest comfort to know he would never lose his brother.

The butterfly joined a few other small trinkets on his desk.

**Author's Note:**

> not exactly mentioned: realizing that they wouldn't have had to deal with the outburst at all if he wasn't there.


End file.
